Finding Peace in the Storm: My Own Story
“I will never give you full custody and control of your children.” The Family Advocate’s words kept ringing in my ears long after we drove away from her office.
“I just hope that you told her everything!” My friend Lynette looked at me from the passenger seat of my car with sincere concern in her eyes.
“I didn’t. I couldn’t. I was too intimidated and scared in that moment. Why did they have to have him sit there on the other side of the table the entire time? Charming as always. Both the family advocate as well as the social worker just hung on to every word he said.”
I was 6 months into a very difficult divorce case after finding out about my husbands indiscretions. My mind flashed back to the night everything came completely undone.
“I just want to tell you that it’s not your fault” he said that night. I looked at him with disbelief. I couldn’t believe he had just said that to me.
My heart and mind were spinning, but somehow my reply was cool, calm, even calculated, though I didn’t feel any of those things that night. “I don’t need to you to tell me that it isn’t my fault. Your character, or lack thereof, is most certainly not my fault.”
“I was worried you would do something stupid” he said as he took the car keys from my hand. I had done what he always did after an argument. I got in the car and took off, leaving him to look after the kids while I tried to clear my head.
Inside I was shaking. What have I done? I grew up in extremely dysfunctional circumstances. My childhood didn’t get better after my parents’ divorced. It got worse. I had promised myself I would never put my children through a divorce, but this was no mere mistake. It turns out he’s a repeat offender, it wasn’t a one time affair. He’d been cheating on me with multiple women for the entirety of our marriage.
I’m was done. After years of living with nagging suspicions just so he could accuse me of being paranoid and crazy, I was done. I was done wondering, looking for signs and questioning my own sanity or thinking I just had an overactive imagination feeding of my own insecurities. I was simply done.
My lack of understanding and unwillingness to give him a second chance, if you can call it a second chance, was first met with pleading.
“I will change. You can come and work with me and we can be together all the time.” My whole life was a lie and the last thing I wanted, was to spend any amount of time with him.
When pleading didn’t work, he turned to violence. I got a restraining order and he was furious but he obeyed it. He also realized that I was serious, it was over.
Lynette’s cool hand on my arm snapped me out of my thoughts.
“It going to be okay” I heard myself say. “God can use whoever He pleases and if He needs to use the Family Advocate to take care of my children and me, then that’s what He’ll do.” As the words hung in the air a quiet peace settled in my soul. It would all be okay.
That inner peace was threatened numerous times over the following weeks as I cried myself to sleep many a night. I had to constantly remind myself of what I’d said to Lynette in the car that day. It was all going to be all right. I found verses in my bible that reminded me that God was good and in control and I read them repeatedly. I listened to as many testimonies as I could find online of other people overcoming difficult times through their faith and trust in the Lord.
I remember thinking that I don’t want to be like the Pharisee praying the same thing over and over but I was desperate. In a conversation with my brother he reminded me of the widow in Luke 18. I remembered how she kept going back to the unrighteous judge until he finally gave her justice. Jesus’ words were ringing in my ears as if I heard Him speak it myself.
Jesus told his disciples a parable about their need to pray all the time and never give up. He said, “In a city there was a judge who didn’t fear God or respect people. In that city there was also a widow who kept coming to him and saying, ‘Grant me justice against my adversary.’For a while the judge refused. But later he told himself, ‘I don’t fear God or respect people, yet because this widow keeps bothering me, I will grant her justice. Otherwise, she will keep coming and wear me out.’
Then the Lord added, “Listen to what the unrighteous judge says. Won’t God grant his chosen people justice when they cry out to him day and night? Is he slow to help them? I tell you, he will give them justice quickly. But when the Son of Man comes, will he find faith on earth?”
So I continued to pray and fast. I meditated on those scriptures and listened to more testimonies. Every time it felt like that peace was leaving me and doubt settling in, I would speak to it and dig my heels in as I stood on the truth of God’s Word.
Five months later the office of the Family Advocate signed off on the case, awarding me full custody and control of my children. I sobbed uncontrollably. I was free to raise and care for my children. The Lord had provided abundantly above and beyond what I had expected.
In our new home as a family of three, we were free for the first time to serve God and read our bible anywhere we wanted. It’s been many years since that ordeal. I’ve healed and my children are fantastic, well balanced kids that make me proud every day. I have remarried and my marriage and our family brings joy to all of us.
When you’re in the middle of the storm and you feel like you’re drowning, nothing is going to make it easy. Having faith doesn’t make it easy but it does give you hope. Trust that God is who He says He is and that He will take care of you as well. Read your bible continuously. Meditate on these verses to remind you why you too can have peace in hard times.
Because faith comes, after all, from hearing the Word of God.
Verses About Peace in Hard Times
God will keep you safe and fight for you
- Psalm 4:8 BBE I will take my rest on my bed in peace, because you only, Lord, keep me safe.
- Psalm 55:18 BBE He has redeemed my soul in peace from the battle that was against me, although there are many who oppose me.
- Romans 16:20 BBE And the God of peace will be crushing Satan under your feet before long.
- Psalm 46:10 ESV Be still, and know that I am God.
- John 16:33 BBE I have said all these things to you so that in me you may have peace. In the world you have trouble: but take heart! I have overcome the world.
- Psalm 28:7 ESV The LORD is my strength and my shield; in him my heart trusts, and I am helped; my heart exults, and with my song I give thanks to him.
- Luke 8:23-25 ESV And as they sailed he fell asleep. And a windstorm came down on the lake, and they were filling with water and were in danger. And they went and woke him, saying, “Master, Master, we are perishing!” And he awoke and rebuked the wind and the raging waves, and they ceased, and there was a calm. He said to them, “Where is your faith?” And they were afraid, and they marveled, saying to one another, “Who then is this, that he commands even winds and water, and they obey him?”
Nothing is impossible for God
- Jeremiah 32:17 ESV Ah, Lord GOD! It is you who have made the heavens and the earth by your great power and by your outstretched arm! Nothing is too hard for you.
- Luke 1:37 ESV For nothing will be impossible with God.
- Genesis 18:14 ESV Is anything too hard for the LORD? At the appointed time I will return to you, about this time next year, and Sarah shall have a son.
- Matthew 19:26 BBE And Jesus, looking at them, said, “With men this is not possible; but with God all things are possible.”
More verses about why you can have peace in hard times
- Psalm 119:165 BBE Great peace have lovers of your law; they have no cause for falling.
- Proverbs 14:30 BBE The life of the body is a heart at peace, but envy rots the bones.
- Proverbs 16:7 BBE When a man’s ways are pleasing to the Lord, he makes even his haters be at peace with him.
- Ecclesiastes 3:1&8 BBE 1 For everything there is a fixed time, and a time for every business under the sun. 8 A time for love and a time for hate; a time for war and a time for peace.
- Isaiah 9:6 BBE For to us a child is born. To us a son is given; and the government will be on his shoulders. His name will be called Wonderful, Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.
- Isaiah 26:3 BBE You will keep whoever’s mind is steadfast in perfect peace, because he trusts in you.
- Isaiah 32:18 BBE And my people will be living in peace, in houses where there is no fear, and in quiet resting-places.
- Isaiah 66:12 BBE For the Lord says, “See, I will make her peace like a river, and the glory of the nations like an overflowing stream, and she will take her children in her arms, gently caring for them on her knees.”
- Luke 2:14 BBE Glory to God in the highest, and on the earth peace among men with whom he is well pleased.
- John 14:27 BBE May peace be with you; my peace I give to you: I give it not as the world gives. Let not your heart be troubled; let it be without fear.
- Romans 15:13 BBE Now may the God of hope make you full of joy and peace through faith, so that all hope may be yours in the power of the Holy Spirit.
- Galatians 5:22,23 ESV But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.
- Philippians 4:7 ESV And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
- 1 Thessalonians 5:23 BBE And may the God of peace himself make you holy in every way; and may your spirit and soul and body be free from all sin at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ.
- 1 Timothy 6:6 BBE But true faith, with peace of mind, is of great profit:
- 1 Corinthians 14:33 ESV For God is not a God of confusion but of peace.
- Hebrews 12:11 BBE At the time all punishment seems to be pain and not joy: but after, those who have been trained by it get from it the peace-giving fruit of righteousness.
- 2 Thessalonians 3:16 ESV Now may the Lord of peace himself give you peace at all times in every way. The Lord be with you all.
Prayer
(from Ephesians 3)
Lord through the wealth of Your glory make me strong through Your Spirit in my heart. So that through faith Christ may have His place in my heart and that I may be rooted and based in love.
Give me the strength to comprehend how wide and long and high and deep Your love is. Fill me with Your fullness. I trust that You are able and willing to do abundantly more than I could ever hope or dream of. To You be all the Glory. In the mighty name of Jesus, Amen.
Leave a Reply